The man who upgefucked the entire flugplatz
Recent Entries 
5th-May-2011 12:17 am
I'm having trouble telling the difference between hipsters and anti-hipsters.  Hipsters, as far as I can tell, are charged with creating a hierarchy of reversal which seems to bother people for no other reason, it seems, than because it challenges the norms and mores that anti-hipsters feel comfortable with. 

Trends are, by their definition, descriptions of change.  But by whose metric should fashion be judged?  And why?  I think hipsters tend to fall into the delusion that anything can be truly novel.  We're all constantly living our lives as if we're looking over someone else's (ancestors, peers, offspring) shoulder trying to make sure that our test answers match up with the group we'd most like to resemble; so then why are the trends of one group held above those of another?  That seems to be the failing of the anti-hipster who believes that society is a rejection of the individual or that individuality is a rejection of society.

Is it just about semiotics then?  Did Hitler wear stripes with plaid or does it represent your inner child, you conformist anti-hipster?  Hitler didn't wear stripes with plaid and the t-shirt you're wearing doesn't make any sense, you nonconformist hipster.  Unless it was designed by Marc Jacobs, then it would follow a logical pattern we could agree on, right? 

Fashion, like all art, will always be a representation of both indiviual and collective.  People align themselves with what they find appealing so that they might seem appealing to someone else... especially if they're trying to appeal to someone who's trying to challenge what's deemed appealing.

In short: whether you have a subscription to Vogue or Architectural Digest, please just shut the hell up and let me wear my vintage Yves Saint Laurent shirt with my mass-produced jeans, smear my Saltines with Roquefort and generally try to fit in by trying to look like I'm not fitting in just like everyone else.  It's too bad livejournal doesn't have a "like" button because I would add a comment to "fuck off" and then ask everyone to like it.  Because I'm a hipster looking for other hipsters to share my distastes with.  We can use our airmiles to fly to an economically depressed Korean village's Buddhist temple, eat fortified rice and smile at the hairless apes spinning into nothing.
28th-Apr-2011 01:27 pm

How to watch the royal wedding if you're a cynical commoner like me.

I like to think that my school scheduled spring broke this week for this reason alone.

[Man, "share to livejournal" is just about the most pathetic share link you can use.]
21st-Apr-2011 11:28 am
 There was an ingeniously absurd exchange in this week's The United States of Tara:

Charmaine (exhausted after giving birth): Can you believe that some people think God is a woman?
Neil (the father): I know, that's crazy.
I think that's all I'm going to say about my life right now. 
25th-Mar-2011 12:57 am - Wayback Meme Machine
I vaguely remember this video when it was first popular but somehow I had forgotten how fabulous it was:

24th-Mar-2011 12:57 pm
I was telling dakus about foot fetishism and the theory that it can be explained by the proximity of the foot and toe sensory processing to that of the genitals:

[map of sensory decoding in the postcentral gyrus]

It reminded me of this old Dr. Who episode I watched a long time ago with chucknoblet [we used to date (ALL GAY LIKE)] involving a homunculus. I really don't remember that much at all but then I thought of this amazingly brilliant episode of Peep Show:

[Danny Dyer's Chocolate Homunculus DIRECT LINK]
21st-Mar-2011 09:09 pm - more frenetic navel-gazing."oh my poor rheumatic back, it's all part of my autumn almanac"
Fucking Christ, I need to stop looking at medical sites when I'm sick. Now I think I might have scurvy (apparently curry+eggs+kefir is not a balanced diet) or mercury poisoning (long story from long ago). This is all probably just American/Internet-style hypochondria but damn it would explain a lot.

Also: there's this syndrome called CHARGE that frightens the shit out of me because the main determining factor (the 'C' in CHARGE) is a coloboma (the reason why my right eye's iris is so strange looking). A lot of the other symptoms match up with things I've noticed I have like nasal stenosis but some don't at all... would it be immodest for me to say that I'm not retarded and don't have a small penis? [I think R=retardation and G=genital abnormalities (They're not requisite though.)] im defective loll

Edit: Wow, I really do have this CHARGE thing. It's humbling, I suppose.. the way they talk about these kids who have it makes me think that I'm really really lucky not to have had the worst parts of the syndrome (my coloboma is the only externally identifiable feature).
21st-Mar-2011 12:06 am
From PostSecret:

19th-Mar-2011 09:10 pm
I just had some Paula Deanesque French Toast, y'all. Cibo Matto's "Birthday Cake" was playing in my head and unthinkingly I beat extra splenda and extra vanilla in :( Also: the bread is moldy. I don't give a flying fuck though.

Edit: shit. Paula Dean would never use Splenda, would she? She's far too hardcore for that.

Edit2: now my throat feels infected :(
19th-Mar-2011 02:58 am

With the terrible earthquake and resulting tsunami that have devastated Japan, the only good news is that anyone exposed to excess radiation from the nuclear power plants is now probably much less likely to get cancer.

This only seems counterintuitive because of media hysteria for the past 20 years trying to convince Americans that radiation at any dose is bad. There is, however, burgeoning evidence that excess radiation operates as a sort of cancer vaccine.

As The New York Times science section reported in 2001, an increasing number of scientists believe that at some level -- much higher than the minimums set by the U.S. government -- radiation is good for you.

-Ann Coulter

Yes, those Chernobyl kids are the pinnacle of health you fucking mong. The ones affected by residual radiation may have deformed limbs but they're totally cancer-free, right? And what do they CURE cancer with? radiation! It's a no-brainer.
17th-Mar-2011 03:52 pm - fun fun think of a pun YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I MEAN

(from hildeaux. fun fun fun fun)

Here's the video to which it refers if you're old-meme like me:

(apologiez if you've been inundated with this all week)
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